Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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