in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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