It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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