FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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