Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
