yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize