He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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