I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
