you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize