remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
