youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I touched a dick in church today
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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