I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
