I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
