K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
