You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
