I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
