my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
