guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
