Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
