drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
