i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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