haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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