He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
