it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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