Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize