His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize