So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
