based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
