i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize