in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sober January is a disaster.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
