i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
