Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
