Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
