wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
