You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
