yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Randomize
