I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
