great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wear drunk well.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
