Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
