So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
