Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
