u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
