You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
