Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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