So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize