I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
