i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
