also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
