I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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