Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
