All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
