if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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