His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
