Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
