fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
