We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
