If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
