I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
