im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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